Big endeavors for jardin de Jenson

So, as you may know, this garden thing is in part an effort to green up a little bit, and an effort on Allison's part to channel Laura Ingalls Wilder. But, most of all, we wanted to save money. You know how it is: the economy, the single income thing, the price of food, and so on.
Then, we had a brilliant idea: why just save money when we could MAKE money off of our garden??
Desmond is using his deep knowledge of all things science-y (thank you, Wikipedia, for the free education on everything), and Allison will be managing our new crop: corn. We are plowing up everything we can and just growing corn. Grass? out. Trees? out. Herbs, flowers? out, out. Veggies? Well, if it's corn, it's in. Otherwise, out. We will be plowing up the concrete if the landlord okays it, and then: corn driveway.
Here are some of the many things we will be making with our corn; popcorn, delicious movie treat; cornmeal, mmmm cornbread; Corn starch, for thicker gravy; Xanthan gum, for spelling bees. Sorbitol, food additive to many of our favorite non-expiring treats; Hominy, corn soaked in lye, yum; Maltodextrine, no explaination needed; High fructose corn syrup, for the people in those commercials; Corn mash, for our moonshine makin' side business; Gum arabic, which I am pretty sure is in Snapple; Dextrose, which you probably use with the maltodextrine; Corn cob pipes, in case Frosty comes to town; tetrahydrofurfuryl alcohol, used to make paint and varnish (who knew?); monosodium glutamate, better known as MSG; and ethanol, which makes me feel better about my Escalade.
Hmmm... I don't know if we have a future in satire. Hopefully, Big Veggie doesn't find out about our lil blog.

All April fools joking aside, we both love delicious corn on the cob in the summer, but we choose to get it from the farmer's market, because it isn't the best for your soil. Interesting to learn what all shows up in the stuff we now consider food, isn't it?
Did you hear/ see any truly hilarious April fools jokes today?

Wishing you a corn by-product free evening,
the Jensons

Awesome image by Natalie Dee.


Julia said...

when we landed in MSP the flight attendant said 'welcome to dulles'... i almost started to cry- hard- at the prospect of finding a return flight home, MORE flight time with a baby, angry at myself for being less attentive and getting on the wrong flight... as the water began to well up in my eyes, she said, april fools, welcome to MSP. i had a few choice words for her i kept to myself. glad to hear the corn explosion was a joke, as well.

Shannon said...

I will pay you cash money if you make two corn cob pipes that I can give to Tim and Pippi as a wedding present. I am totally serious.

The Jensons said...

Julia: That sounds like the meanest flight attendant ever.

Shannon: Gladly. Just tell me when and where. Oh, and how much.

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